Jot

Sometimes I think I might end up doing something reckless and completely out of character like getting lost or drinking the night away or professing my love to a complete stranger (or someone I’ve believed to be out of my reach) or showing up at a friend’s doorstep with the intention of spending the night there, with or without their permission. 

Other times I think I might end up just thinking about these activities and just feel a hole in my life that cannot be filled by mundanity or safety. 

But for now, I think I just need to breathe and take in a change of scenery. Yeah, that sounds about right.

We’ve all gone through the harmless *insert social networking site of choice here* stalking phase to find out what kind of music our crush likes or how often they have ice cream during the summer or something. It is all pretty harmless cause usually the ones we’re trying to “find information” on are usually people we admire from afar. Most of the time, they probably don’t even know we exist. Or at most, you’ve just crossed paths once or twice. What I’m trying to say is that there’s no real connection or acknowledgement of both parties.

But when social networking sites become an avenue to uncover some dirt on someone or become a place to one up a person and to ostracize them from a group they were born or wed into, then there must be flaws in your logic.

There are reasons why some people thread so carefully through the waters of social networking sites, precisely because there are others out there who see every tweet or status update or photo upload as an opportunity to scoff and judge and ultimately, use the information they’ve gained as a reason or justification for their shunning.

Isn’t this all a little too grade school? Is this what we’ve come to? Not letting poor little John sit with us at the school table because he has the 64 color set of crayons while the rest of us only have 24? We’re better than this. We’ve lived through more adversities and serious trials than this and we’re supposed to make the best of every situation, not ostracize those who are living their own life.

Respect begets respect. A person may choose to live a life in another country for their own reasons, and yes, they might have forgotten a few important practices, like keeping in touch, in the process, but does that mean we pretend to welcome them with open arms when they return but proceed to talking behind their back every chance we get? Does that mean we keep them out of the loop, making it even more difficult for them to reconnect with the rest of us when they know that’s what they did wrong?

The aim of social networking sites are to connect and reconnect people to one another. Am I so gullible in thinking this is actually true? Am I being too idealistic? Or maybe too naive?

Let’s not turn tools and means of connection into tools of ruining lifelong relationships. Please. Let’s be better than this. Let’s be mature about this. We are all still connected. Without or without technological advances.

The minute clock makes its way around for the nth time today.
She should know.
Time was all she’s had for company.

There are moments when Time crept slowly.
Usually when she was bursting with thought
and had no way to get rid of them.

Other moments, time passed in a flash.
Usually when she needed to think things through.

Time was all she had for company
but Time didn’t like her very much.

See also: It’s not that I don’t know what I want but it’s that I want too many things and they cannot possibly coexist at the same time. They just can’t. The rules of nature state that I can only have one and I’m not okay with that so I proceed to living in a perpetual state of limbo in an attempt to avoid having to actually choose or do anything.